Fairytales for Grownups
Me: My niece and I were playing Connect Four this past Sunday and she was trying to cheat. I had to just tell myself that she's only a kid. So I threw the game in the garbage and locked her in the cellar alone with the lights out for a few hours.
Chris: My daughter has started lying to us already *sigh* humanity is simply flawed I suppose. I find that 15 minutes in the refrigerator calms any child down, good babysitting tip.
Me: Also bad was when my nephew wouldn't finish dinner. So I tied him to the TV antenna on the roof for a few hours during those really bad rainstorms we had a couple of weeks ago. Sure, he got pneumonia, but he sure did finish his string beans.
Chris: That's right. Do you see, kids? That's what life is all about, lessons. Lessons and learning.
Me: Personally, I think it was a mistake to pass all those child labor laws. Kids could learn a lot from, say, working in a coal mine for a few years while they're 7 or 8.
Chris: I find that a few nights sleeping outside with no clothes really hurries them along the next time you tell them to get dressed in the morning.
Me: We actually got my niece to concentrate on her schoolwork more by taking her toys, putting them in a big pile in the backyard, smashing them to pieces with a hammer and yelling, "Childhood is no time for fun. You must work!" She cried for a while, but she eventually got the message.
Nov 4th